Friend problems

What is it?

Wellbeing Tools

Friend problems can trigger emotional difficulties.
Seek support from trusted adults or supportive friends.
Prioritise emotional health when facing friendship issues.

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Published: 26/10/23

Friend problems can be a significant trigger for emotional health difficulties. Adolescence is a time of intense emotional growth and self-discovery, and friends often play a crucial role in shaping one’s sense of identity and self-worth. When friendships encounter problems, this can lead to feelings of loneliness, sadness, anxiety and even depression. The pain of a falling-out or a friendship betrayal can be especially intense, as it can feel like a loss of a vital support system.

It’s essential for you to recognise that you are not alone in facing friend problems, and these challenges can be a normal part of growing up. However, it’s equally important to seek support when needed. Talking to a trusted adult or counselor can provide guidance and emotional relief. Additionally, maintaining a network of supportive friends can be a valuable source of comfort during difficult times. Remember, your emotional health matters, and it’s okay to seek help and make choices that prioritise your well-being when faced with friend problems.

A young girl separated from a group of other young people

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Friends can be a vitally important source of support, but friendships can also be difficult and sometimes harmful. You may find that your friends are pressuring you to do things you feel uncomfortable with, that jokes and banter are becoming hurtful and disrespectful, that you are constantly arguing and falling out, that they are making you feel guilty, or that they isolate you from a group on purpose.
When a friendship becomes unhealthy, it can impact other areas of your life and how you think and feel. It can make you feel down or anxious, or might lower your self-esteem and how you feel around other people. If you feel like this, it’s important that you are able to get help.
Here are some tips from YoungMinds on what to do if you’re struggling with a friendship:
By talking things through and explaining how you both feel, you can both learn to better understand how you can support each other.
Stop, take time and reflect on what is making this friendship seem unhealthy.
Always talk to those closest to you about how you feel. If you are having problems with a particular group or individual, address it either with them or speak to a trusted adult.
Join some extra-curricular clubs or activities you’re interested in outside of school to find friends who have similar interests to you and might make more of an effort to understand.
To learn more about friendships and mental health, visit the links below.
Guidance: Coping with life - friends
Blog: What I learnt when I lost a friendship

I wish I had understood that school is not the only chance of making friends and that there would be other opportunities to make friends. Friendships change and people grow apart and that is okay – especially when you are young and growing and finding out about yourself and what you like and what you want to be.

Hannah, 20

I tried fitting in with other girls but they were never very nice and kept leaving me. That feeling of being completely alone, like I wasn’t good enough for anyone and no one wanted me, echoed feelings I had in my wider life and my mental health seemed to spiral.

Hannah, 20